On the boys

 

This photo is special to me.

 It was a rare time that all our boys were together here in Australia (for Lachlan’s wedding). Michelle and I remember it as a time full of brotherly shenanigans. There were so many smiles - not to mention the stomach churning laughter. They are all really really funny (although they do blur the line about what’s appropriate a bit too much!).

 I sit here staring at the four faces in this photo.

 What a faithful bloke Jacob is. He knows what it means to tough things out, nonetheless he is sensitive and caring (and even better at accents than I am).

 I really admire that Ben has elected to be attentive to the voice of God. He was willing to venture to an unfamiliar environment with a lot of unknown outcomes.

 Lachy is a very intelligent and perceptive individual who has the gift of being able to read people. I love how his face is inclined towards God.

 And Caleb – he has faced some very significant challenges in his life, and on the journey has uncovered a sensitivity to others which makes him well-regarded and accomplished as a carer.

 The very fact that they are still interested in doing things together with us is a major source of joy for me. This coupled with observing the significant respect they hold for Michelle is so gratifying.

 That God has blessed us with four boys is something that I do reflect on. In the past I used to think that I would have been a better father of girls than boys. I probably don’t think that so much these days. I can relate to my sons, at least to some extent, with the challenges that are more typically faced by guys.

 I feel for them as I would have loved to be able to do the adventure stuff - like abseiling and canyoning. I miss that opportunity for bonding in the face of risk and teaching courage when facing ‘danger‘.

 My struggle with MS has largely shaped our family. To be honest, the main casualty has been my pride. Whenever the boys are called on to provide assistance (like when Michelle goes away) they respond with willingness and alacrity. I feel that I require more from them than what I give. I really would prefer to give more than I get. I shudder to think what it would be like without them.

 The biggest danger that I face is what Augustine described as Incurvatus En Se – being focussed on myself. What I often see in my boys could be better described as Incurvatus exterius - focusing outside of themselves.

 Even in that the father is being taught by the son.